Today, after the much publicized media coverage of Robin Williams’ suicide, I would yet again like to be 100% honest and raw Deanna and share a GRATEFUL post for my therapist Valerie. We have been seeing each other for about 4 years and I publicly declare, she is one of my BEST FRENDS. I am not ashamed or embarrassed for seeing Valerie. She is a light in my life, helps me see things a different way, encourages me but is also frank and honest when she sees me handling things in a way I shouldn’t. She is a fantastic, unbiased guide and I absolutely treasure her.
Mental health issues are swept under the rug and treated so very ignorantly. Think about it, if you hear someone at work is taking a leave of absence for cancer treatment, you immediately are filled with compassion and understanding…no? If someone takes a leave for “needing a mental break” or “issues pertaining to one’s mental health”, the giggles, looks and judgements would quickly swirl around your workplace …. the “she is kind of crazy” would be tossed about, the words “unstable” “bipolar”, get used inappropriately, unfairly, insensitively.
I have never been diagnosed with anything but 4 years ago I hit a wall. The wall I hit was being so very disappointed in how people treat one another. That is what brought me in to therapy. I was disgusted with how humans handled their humanity. I felt like I was an odd ball: loving, caring, respectful, thoughtful and did not feel that treatment coming back in my direction. I can tell you all now with out shame that I truly wanted to check out.
Why didn’t I check out? 4 reasons:
1. I couldn’t do that to my parents. They would have completely blamed themselves and I could never do that to them.
2. Who would take care of my dogs/my babies
3. I simply was not brave enough
4. There was darkness all around me but there was one, tiny, teeny, sliver of light…HOPE…and for that promise of HOPE, I could not do it.
For those of you saying “Suicide is selfish”, I say you are COMPASSIONLESS. “SELFISH” is what brought me to my breaking point. The selfish, insensitive hearts of others. Which is why on a daily I soap box loving each other more, checking in with each other more, smiling to strangers, hugging, sending an unexpected text or email of encouragement, ACTUALLY PICKING UP THE PHONE AND JUST PULLING A STEVIE WONDER: “I JUST CALLED TO SAY I LOVE YOU”.
I understand suicide because I’ve considered it. More than once.
I stay in treatment because humanity is not getting any better, it’s getting worse and I need the support. Guess what.. all of us do. I advise everyone to seek some form of mental therapeutic treatment because everyone needs it. EVERYONE.
Hopefully this post will call to action more love and compassion amongst my friends rather than judgement.
Here’s the fun thing about me: I care not what you think. I learned that from Valerie.
She wrote this down for me one day and it hangs on the wall in my office:
“I will not judge myself based on how others treat me”
Have a great day everyone…love a little more. x
"What the world needs now is love, sweet love
It’s the only thing that there’s just too little of
What the world needs now is love, sweet love
No, not just for some but for everyone”